In God You Trust

I cannot tell you how happy it makes me that the House of Representatives took it  upon themselves to reaffirm the national motto of 'In God We Trust', Thanks douchebags, all 396 of you including my own representative Betty McCollum. Thanks for telling me that despite being born and raised in the United States of white heterosexual christian parents who themselves were born here of whit heterosexual christian parents who were also born here, I am not part of this country. I am not a member. In God We Trust. Thanks for promoting the hegemony and giving power to the tyranny of the majority.

As an atheist I do not trust in god. So that means I am not part of the 'We'. Since this is the national motto (for the last 55 years anyway, for the first 180 years we didn't have a motto about god), I guess I don't rate as part of the nation.
So to better ingratiate myself with the borg religious collective I will do the following,

I will:
trust in god to prevent hurricanes if more people pray more.

trust in god to prevent floods in a floodplain if more people pray more.

trust in god to stop the volcano from erupting once we throw a virgin girl in.

trust in god to protect my property, though not my neighbor's who believes differently.

trust in god that my football team will win if more people pray.

trust in god that the douchebag at work's basketball team will not win if more people pray.
trust in god to cure my treatable illness without modern medical interventions.

trust in god to look out for my family when I die.

trust in god to destroy the muslims.
trust in god to destroy the christians.

trust in god to destroy the buddhists.

trust in god to destroy the pagans.

trust in god to be better than all the other gods.

trust in god to make me superior to other races, sexes, nationalities, ethnicities, generations, and other people I don't particularly like.

trust in god to become corporeal in bread, me eat him, and it not be cannibalism.

trust in god that I will go to heaven because I am baptized.

trust in god that babies go to heaven even if not baptized.

trust in god that heathens go to hell regardless of age.

trust in god that undifferentiated cells are people.

trust in god that undifferentiated cells are not people.

trust in god to burn all the gays and lesbians in hell (unless there's the potential for a hot 3-way).

trust in god to allow gays and lesbians to minister and preach god's word.
trust in god that marriage is forever.
trust in god that divorce is ok too.
trust in god that gays destroy marriage.
trust in god that its ok to keep slaves.
trust in god that keeping slaves is an abomination.
trust in god that I get to rule my wife.
trust in god that I also get a bunch of virgin to screw when Im dead.

trust in god that he has actually had sex with a virgin and knows why this would be a good thing.

trust in god that there are unforgivable sins.

trust in god that all sins can be forgiven.

trust in god that only 144,000 people go to heaven and Im one of them.

trust in god that I am blessed, but the 12 year old starving African who is victim of countless rapes is not.

trust in god that by happenstance of my birth I get a free ride to heaven.

trust in god that voting on mottoes is a useful job of congress.

You know what? God as an idea seems capricious and arbitrary. Maybe it's not so bad being an outsider.

Loraxian Superheroes: Voting No were Rep. Jerrold Nadler (D-NY), Rep. Gary Ackerman (D-NY), Rep. Justin Amash (R-Mich) (You totally kick ass Mr. Amash!!!), Rep. Judy Chu (D-CA), Rep. Emanuel Cleaver (D-MO), Rep. Mike Honda (D-CA), Rep. Hank Johnson (D-GA), Rep. Bobby Scott (D-VA), and Rep. Pete Stark (D-CA). 

Loraxian Heroes: Voting present were Rep. Keith Ellison (D-MN) and Rep. Melvin Watt (D-NC).

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